A Direction Home

Maria and I had been in the Agama Yoga course for almost two weeks by the time Mike got back from trekking in the Himalayas. "You should definately come to our yoga class tomorrow, it's amazing!" we both told him. "Eh ... we'll see what happens" Mike answered in his typical non-commital, non-attached manner of speaking.

Two days later Maria and I decided to set an intention to take their Advanced 500 Hour Yoga Teacher Training Course in Thailand next January. Mike's experiences over the last few days had him sold, he was planning on heading to Dharamsala to continue with the 2nd month of their training. But after one more day the world flipped again. Maria decided there was no point in putting it off, her other travels could wait, she was signing up to take the course that started in May, just over a month away. Mike decided to forget wandering around India for a while, put off the Vipassana retreat, and fly to Thailand to continue studying at Agama's main school for an undetermined amount of time.

I however, was still flying back to the US in 3 weeks. Still planning on making to to Thailand in January for additional training. But first I allowed myself to dream a bit first. I imagined it vividly. I could fly to Thailand and just keep developing my practice. The curiculum at Agama offered an amazing amount of depth, 13 months of training in Hatha Yoga, followed by another 12 months in Kundalini yoga, followed by 2 month of training on each of the first 6 chakras, culminating in a 4 month training on sahasara, the crown chakra. Then the advanced levels began. You could basically spend the next 10 years of so developing you practice, following this tantric path wherever it lead.

The school is at Koh Panang ... the infamous spot of the Full Moon Parties in Thailand. Where once a month the south side of the island was overrun hooligans from around the world, tripping in shrooms and ecstacy, drinking alcohol out of buckets, dancing to techno music and partying the night away. At the Agama school however, every full moon is celebrated with a group meditation. Student come from around the world to practice, to teach, to study.

Our instructor Khush told us about the cottages you can rent right on the beach. 150 Baht a night would get you a bed, mosquito net, a hose and a bucket ... all I would need for the forseeable future. He told us about where you can buy a cheap scooter to get around town. I already knew about thai cuisine, knew enough thai from my trip last year to get around. It wouldn't be hard.

I would spend my days studying yoga, practicing 4-5 hours a day. The mornings swimming, watching the sunrise. On weekends and days off I could take little trips to Krabi to go rock-climbing, finally go visit my buddy Hetal in Cambodia. I would eat spicy curries and fresh seafood. Life would be grand. I would meet amazing people from all over the world, and we would figure out how to solve all the problems of humanity over fresh fruit smoothies and brown rice and tofu.

But I knew it was all just a day dream. Mike and Maria are a different spot than me. They left behind what they needed to in the US, are happily floating along the sea of life. I made sure to keep myself somewhat tethered back to a place I call home. I think about the friends with whom to reconnect. Playing with my nephews. Mending the fences that were left bruised and battered. Siezing the opportunity to serve at that special place in San Diego that jumped in my lap. And most exiting of all, the as-of-yet unknown possiblities of what is is to come. Thailand and all it entails will be there for me when I am ready. May 7th, the journey home begins.