Where Did I Go?

Sorry peeps, it's been a while, a long while since I've updated this site. The travels have continued, the adventures have gotten even crazier. When I go back through this blog and read about what I was doing a few years ago, what I thought, how I acted, I hardly realize myself anymore. The good news is I'm back to blogging, this time with the love of my life, Dipika, my partner in crime over at http://www.loveandyoga.com a site about, well you guessed it, Love and Yoga. I know, I know, not what you would have expected from the guy who created this blog, but head over there and you might be able to figure out how the transition happened!

The Lion which kills the Elephant of Death

The alchemists of yore spent considerable time and effort attempting to turn lead into gold. They probably never realized that the ancient yogis had already figured out something more impressive. Taking irrational fears and insecurities and transforming them into pure love. Taking wanton desires and jealousies and transmuting them into serenity. Taking the self-centered egoistical need for power and rising it up until it becomes wisdom. Taking all the impure energies located at the seat of our being and using them to find truth.

Several yogic techniques exist to sublime the disharmonious forces that occupy the lower levels of our being up to the heart and beyond. But none of them is as safe, easy and effective as the Uddiyana Banda. As the name implies, this is not a posture, an asana, but rather an energetic lock, a banda. The reference here is to prana, the life force that flows through the entire universe. Uddiyana comes from sanskrit and can roughly be translated as "to fly upwards." Thus the implication of the name is clear, it can be understood as "the lock which causes prana to fly upwards."

In addition to the spiritual benefits mentioned above, the physical results are exceptional. It improves digestion and purifies the digestive tract, improves circulation to the heart and brain and strengthens the abdminal muscles and reduces belly fat. The health benefits are so numerous that this technique is refered to as "the Lion which kills the Elephant of Death." To the uninitiated the technique may appear to be extrordinary, but once the process is understood it really is quite simple and easy to perform. Although make sure you have an empty stomach when you practice, give yourself 2-3 hours after eating.

Stand with your feet roughly shoulder distance apart. Take a few deep inhales to energize the body with prana. And then forcefully exhale through the mouth, bending all the way down so your knees press into your abdomen, completely expelling all the air in your body. Relax the abdominal muscles.

Retain the empty breath, without inhaling connect your hands to your knees come into a half-standing posture with the torso bent over. Make sure to keep the abdominal muscles relaxed take a "mock inhalation" by expanding the rib cage. Press into your hands and relax your shoulders. The vacuum in your lungs will cause your belly to suck into your thorax. Close your eyes and picture the energy subliming from your tailbone upwards through the spine, reaching to the crown of your head.

Within a few seconds you will feel the need to breath. The longer you resist this urge the more energy will be sublimed upwards. Once you feel your anus contract, the intial portion of your kundalini shakti start to rise, albeit in safe and controlled manner. But, as always with yoga, don't push yourself beyond your limits. Treat your body with love and compassion.

When you are ready to breath, first relax the abdominal muscles and then take and retain an inhale breath. Attempt to hold the inhale breath as long as you held the empty breath. Hold your posture, with the torso rounded over and keep feeling the energy sublime upwards.

After an equivalent amount of time has elaspsed, exhale through the mouth, returning to a standing posture. Keep your eyes closed and feel the effects of your consciousness being elevated.

Ultimately all we all can control is this world are our own actions. By making yourself a better person you inherently make the world a better place. So the next time you find yourself complaining about how terrible things are, ask yourself, what have you done lately to improve yourself. Wake up, brush your teeth, do just 3 uddiyana bandas and I guarantee you you'll feel better about the state of things. Now just imagine if we all would take the time to do the same.

What if you build it, but no one shows up?

Laying down wood flooring on top of concrete is no joke. First you gotta throw down a layer of goop to level out the uneven spots in the concrete, to make sure you have a stable foundation upon which to build. And like any good foundation, it takes a while to sit and cure ... to come into it's own.

The easy part is putting down the cork, or whatever else you're going to use to absorb the blow. To make sure the floor finds that balance between support and surrender. We've got something that looks an awful lot like sawdust lined up to do the job.

And only then can you actually start to glue and lock together the individual pieces of treated bamboo which will actually be the floor. Each piece is grooved on two edges and notched on the two. And they come together like a giant set of lego's to create what will become your floor.

I didn't set out to help lay the floor for a yoga studio, it just kinda happened. I'd been attending meditation and yoga at the Dharma Bum Center / Red Lotus Society / Ideal Hotel / whatever it is that they are calling themselves this week, for a bit now.

And I watched with admiration as a few doe-eyed idealists took an abandoned historic building in dire need of renovation and used their blood and sweet to pour a seemingly endless amount of love into this vessel. I watched their incremental progress week by week, and marveled how they could take on such a project in need of so much time and effort and proceed with quiet, unwavering determination.

Over time I realized that it wasn't blind optimism that made them trudge forward, one nail at a time. I occasionally saw frustration and desperation creep into their otherwise stoic faces when the challenges facing them seemed unsurmountable. When time, money and all other earthly realities seemed to conspire against their ambitious project. And I watched with awe as they cast them aside to return to the task at hand, sanding hardwood floors or digging a trench for the plumbing.

And little by little I got sucked in. It started by just dropping in whenever I was in the area for a few hours, cleaning up the remnants of the hard work of others. Then I'd mix it into my bike riding schedule on the weekends, why not just cruise through downtown as long as I'm riding around and see if there's another plaster wall that needs chiseling away?

I watched as an entire community came together around this effort. As people from disparate walks of life, different backgrounds and different belief systems joined their effort and energies in order to create something. I'm sure they all had their motives for coming, I certainly had my own.

I watched as the living quarters were transformed from forgotten ramshackle rooms into vibrant dens full of life and zeal. I watched as the space which housed seemingly nothing but dust and debris sprung forth into a zendo, a space for practice. And as I heard more and more of the grandiose plans I'd start to excitedly question the 5 Dharma Bums ... "what about the yoga floor?" ... "when's it going to be done?" ... "who's teaching classes?"

I knew they were dumb questions when I asked. These guys were trying to get through the next crisis, doing a remarkably good job not obsessing about the fact that they'd basically gone bankrupt and were knee deep into a project who's entire size and scope they were still coming to terms with. They didn't have all the answers, they just knew the next step in the path. Then Jeff asked me "can you help make this happen?"

The answer was painfully obvious immediately ... but I initially resisted. I'd spent my entire life avoiding investing and committing in things greater than myself, avoiding putting forth the effort into an uncertain outcome. I never managed to stand up and be counted for the fear that I would be the one left holding the bag.

I thought back to some of the first e-mails I traded with Dorian. In my best John Cusak-esque writing style I sent her a list of my Top 5 Dream Jobs:

1) Travel writer
2) Yoga instructor
3) Center fielder for the Cleveland Indians
4) Smoothie stand guy
5) Linguist

No one was offering me my own syndicated Travel Column, but here was a Yoga Studio that needed built and needed some teachers. In a sense my own practice is still very young. It's either been going on for about a year and a half or since my first breath ... I'm still not sure which.

But it's given me something that I never knew I needed before. A sense of calm, the ability accept the world as is and understand where my own inner turmoil is coming from. A sense of unity and a sense of understanding of how I am involved in this real world I inhabit. Plus my shoulder's have become pretty well defined and that's awfully cool. Sometimes it seems as if it's two steps forward and one step backwards, but such is life I suppose.

So yesterday morning before I took of for work Clay asked me to show him some yoga stuff for his back. I took it as a sign. A sign that in my naivety I thought I understood. I excitedly spent most of the day at work figuring out what sequence I would show him, how to dictate the pace of the class, how to enter each pose. I enlisted Dorian in this make shift class and when Crystal showed up I pulled her in as well.

And then reality happened. The outcome bore little resemblance to what I had imagined. Instead of practicing what might eventually become the foundation for my own class we just kinda kicked it and did some yoga. It didn't take too long, but I soon realized I was way too attached to my own vision of what this should be. I had failed to see my friends as my friends who I could show some cool yoga shit to, but instead saw them as a means to my own ends.

It's hard to let go of those expectations, to contain that sense of ego, maybe the hardest thing of all. And it's hard to pour time and energy into something not knowing where it will go. It's hard to open up and just give without having some assurance that you're going to get back as well. But maybe that's the real lesson I was supposed to learn.

There's definitely still a part of me, a large part, that would rather just throw my shit in a bag and be out the door. Avoid the disappointment of unfulfilled expectations by never bothering to show up. But I'm trying. I've been down that path before, it was good times, but ultimately it left me wanting. So instead, tomorrow, I'm going to help lay a foundation for a yoga studio, and see what happens next. Maybe I'll fulfill the number 2 spot on my list of Dream Jobs, maybe I'll never practice yoga again...