Whatever will be, will be
Everyone at the homestead had already taken off by the time Courtney and I got back from yoga, a bit later than anticipated. But it was ok ... I knew where they were all headed. Courtney took a few moments to get settled into her new room which had just been vacated. I headed out to our favorite tourist restaurant, Unity Pizza for Atli and Eva's farewell lunch. Maria poked her head around the outdoor canopy and waved me over to the table. Our housemates Warren and Kahu were already there, along with a few other well wishers.
It had only been a few weeks together but it sure felt like we were losing two members of the family. We had come from all different parts of the world, had our own reasons for winding up in Bhagsu, but after spending two weeks sharing one bathroom, lots of food and more than a few laughs it was time for the Icelandic contingent to return home. I started to think about my own impending journey back to the US.
We sat around our table we reminised about our time together in Rishikesh. I couldn't help but remember our teacher Khush's words at our graduation ceremony. He warned us, tried to prepare us for what was sure to await. No one comes to India and returns the same person, especially not after spending so much time and effort pursuing spritual practice. We all could have just hung out in Rishikesh or Dharamsala and smoked ganga with the stoner sadhus, but instead we all choose to spend our vacation doing 6 - 8 hours of intense yoga and meditation per day.
When your friends and family see you again, notice the physical changes, hear you speaking about God realization and watch you practicing hours and hours of yoga each day, they'll be convinced you've lost your mind. They'll start to think you're brainwashed. The people who love you the most, who you care about more than anything, will judge you, will question your motives, will be sure they know what you should be doing with your life, better than you yourself could possibly know.
I remember shaking my head out of frustration as Khush continued speaking. I had experienced the extremes of this very behavior first hand. I looked around the table at my cohorts with a bit of envy. It seemed like every one of them could point to the love and support their families gave them on their journey. How they were encouraged to go. How they answered all the eager questions about what they were doing. How they helped make all of this possible, helped take care of their worldly responsibilities while they were away. I was just getting to the point with my family where there seemed to be the beginnings of some level of acceptance. That's what happens when you're from an Indian family and dare to be just a little bit different from what is the norm.
But Khush told us to forget about those distractions. Sure, treat your inquisitors with love and compassion, but stay true to yourself. When you are accused of being irresponsible for not taking part in the material economy, when you hear that you are selfish for pursuing a goal greater than your own desires, when you are told you are a drain on society for not contributing enough ... don't believe those lies. Instead take a second to ask yourself what these people who belittle your path are contributing to the world. Mostly just stress and anxiety as a result of working jobs they dislike. A degree of lust and envy as a result of unrealized desires. At best a few dollars to United Way or some other charity which makes them feel better about themselves.
The world we live in only becomes a better place as the people in it spend the time and effort to make themselves better on an individual level. By raising our own awareness we raise the level of consciousness of the entire planet. I've had plenty of moment where I debated going back to an easier route, running with the rest of the sheep in the pack, banging my head against the walls of material possessions, relationships, fame and worldly respect that people swear is the path towards true happiness. But once you've acknowledged for yourself that there will always be a greater Truth than those things can provide you'll never be fooled again.
After lunch Atli and Eva headed down the long road to the auto-rikshaw stand, loaded up with all their belongings. They turned down all the offers to help carry their load, they knew they were capable of dealing with all the baggage they had brought with them. And I knew the same about myself.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Cold Ground Was My Bed Last Night
About 3 /4ths of the way up the Triund trekking route Warren, Mira and I became precariously aware that we only had one sleeping bag between the three of us. Connor and Dylan, the two travelling cohorts who had just passed us on the trail let us know that there was some event going on at the camp ground tonight and we shouldn't expect to be able to rent gear once we reached the top. "It's a puja, they are going to kill some animals and eat them" said Connor. That didn't quite sound right to me. But being the chivalrous gents they were, they offered to make room for Mira in their tent. "How come they offered the 18 year old blonde a place to sleep but not me or Warren?" I thought. Regardless, she didn't seem too enthused by the idea.
We debated turning around, there was still enough daylight left that we could make it back down to Bhagsu without having to navigate the rough trail and loose rocks in the dark of night. There was only one headlight and one flashlight between the 3 of us so the sun's position made all the difference. "We're not really prepared for this" said Warren, stating the obvious. We had decided to head out on this trek without too much foreward planning, had a few warm clothes but not much else. After exchanging a few Hindi words with a local heading the opposite way I convinced our little group to keep on heading up, I was sure we would figure something out.
We continued climbing switchbacks for another hour or so. The altitude was right around 3000 meters, enough to get us all breathing heavily. But as we turned the last corner, it became obvious what the fuss was all about. Before us stood the first snow capped peak of the Himalayas I had ever seen in my life. Not the most majestic scene I had ever seen, but right up there for sure. The campground, normally a quite serene place was overrun with school kids in uniforms. Apparently it was a holiday and a prep school in Dharamsala decided to take one of their classes camping for the night.
By some degree of providence we managed to snag the last two sleeping bags available for rent at the chai shack which provided all the goods and services the campers could expect. Warren and I set out looking for shelter while Mira rested and enjoyed a hot cup of lemon ginger tea. The caves of Triund may or may not exist, but we never found out for certain. We didn't have enough daylight left to search properly. We moved onto Plan C or D at this point. Warren pointed out a saddle that was covered on 3 sides, open to the mountain face, had relatively flat ground and two large rocks on either side. It was the best we were going to do.
"Were you a boy scout?" I asked Warren. "Eagle scout" he answered. That was good enough for me, I was convined we would survive the night. We put on every bit of clothing we had and decided the best use of the remaining sunlight was to gather enough firewood to try and keep warm. If the hike up wasn't enough to get our hearts pumping, searching for and hauling up what few branches and shards of wood we could find certainly did the job. I made a heartfelt wish upon the first star of the night, and suprisingly enough it wasn't for my own survival.
Warren expertly tended our fire. He made sure to feed it slowly and steadily, so as to not burn out our source of heat for the night too soon. Mari enchanted us by singing a few songs, for which she was handsomely rewarded with a handful of squares of a Cadbury milk chocolate bar. Dylan and Connor joined in and shared the goods they had as well. We stayed up for a while, trading travel stories, talking about our homelands, our lots in life. I noticed the smile on my face while I told them all of my plan to head back to San Diego and continue working at the non-profit I left before this trip.
Before too long it was time for bed. Dylan and Connor headed back to their tent and Warren, Mira and I layed our sleeping bags shoulder length apart, huddled to keep warm. We pulled a few of the rocks that surrounded our fire ring and stuck them in the bottom of our sleeping bags, enough to radiate a bit of warmth throughout the night. As I pulled the drawstrings of my sleeping bag shut I gazed up at the Himalayan sky above. I laid there for a while, my eyes softly focued on the multitude of stars out on this new moon night. The Big Dipper was directly in my line of sight ... pointing the way to the North star.
About 3 /4ths of the way up the Triund trekking route Warren, Mira and I became precariously aware that we only had one sleeping bag between the three of us. Connor and Dylan, the two travelling cohorts who had just passed us on the trail let us know that there was some event going on at the camp ground tonight and we shouldn't expect to be able to rent gear once we reached the top. "It's a puja, they are going to kill some animals and eat them" said Connor. That didn't quite sound right to me. But being the chivalrous gents they were, they offered to make room for Mira in their tent. "How come they offered the 18 year old blonde a place to sleep but not me or Warren?" I thought. Regardless, she didn't seem too enthused by the idea.
We debated turning around, there was still enough daylight left that we could make it back down to Bhagsu without having to navigate the rough trail and loose rocks in the dark of night. There was only one headlight and one flashlight between the 3 of us so the sun's position made all the difference. "We're not really prepared for this" said Warren, stating the obvious. We had decided to head out on this trek without too much foreward planning, had a few warm clothes but not much else. After exchanging a few Hindi words with a local heading the opposite way I convinced our little group to keep on heading up, I was sure we would figure something out.
We continued climbing switchbacks for another hour or so. The altitude was right around 3000 meters, enough to get us all breathing heavily. But as we turned the last corner, it became obvious what the fuss was all about. Before us stood the first snow capped peak of the Himalayas I had ever seen in my life. Not the most majestic scene I had ever seen, but right up there for sure. The campground, normally a quite serene place was overrun with school kids in uniforms. Apparently it was a holiday and a prep school in Dharamsala decided to take one of their classes camping for the night.
By some degree of providence we managed to snag the last two sleeping bags available for rent at the chai shack which provided all the goods and services the campers could expect. Warren and I set out looking for shelter while Mira rested and enjoyed a hot cup of lemon ginger tea. The caves of Triund may or may not exist, but we never found out for certain. We didn't have enough daylight left to search properly. We moved onto Plan C or D at this point. Warren pointed out a saddle that was covered on 3 sides, open to the mountain face, had relatively flat ground and two large rocks on either side. It was the best we were going to do.
"Were you a boy scout?" I asked Warren. "Eagle scout" he answered. That was good enough for me, I was convined we would survive the night. We put on every bit of clothing we had and decided the best use of the remaining sunlight was to gather enough firewood to try and keep warm. If the hike up wasn't enough to get our hearts pumping, searching for and hauling up what few branches and shards of wood we could find certainly did the job. I made a heartfelt wish upon the first star of the night, and suprisingly enough it wasn't for my own survival.
Warren expertly tended our fire. He made sure to feed it slowly and steadily, so as to not burn out our source of heat for the night too soon. Mari enchanted us by singing a few songs, for which she was handsomely rewarded with a handful of squares of a Cadbury milk chocolate bar. Dylan and Connor joined in and shared the goods they had as well. We stayed up for a while, trading travel stories, talking about our homelands, our lots in life. I noticed the smile on my face while I told them all of my plan to head back to San Diego and continue working at the non-profit I left before this trip.
Before too long it was time for bed. Dylan and Connor headed back to their tent and Warren, Mira and I layed our sleeping bags shoulder length apart, huddled to keep warm. We pulled a few of the rocks that surrounded our fire ring and stuck them in the bottom of our sleeping bags, enough to radiate a bit of warmth throughout the night. As I pulled the drawstrings of my sleeping bag shut I gazed up at the Himalayan sky above. I laid there for a while, my eyes softly focued on the multitude of stars out on this new moon night. The Big Dipper was directly in my line of sight ... pointing the way to the North star.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
The Lion which kills the Elephant of Death
The alchemists of yore spent considerable time and effort attempting to turn lead into gold. They probably never realized that the ancient yogis had already figured out something more impressive. Taking irrational fears and insecurities and transforming them into pure love. Taking wanton desires and jealousies and transmuting them into serenity. Taking the self-centered egoistical need for power and rising it up until it becomes wisdom. Taking all the impure energies located at the seat of our being and using them to find truth.
Several yogic techniques exist to sublime the disharmonious forces that occupy the lower levels of our being up to the heart and beyond. But none of them is as safe, easy and effective as the Uddiyana Banda. As the name implies, this is not a posture, an asana, but rather an energetic lock, a banda. The reference here is to prana, the life force that flows through the entire universe. Uddiyana comes from sanskrit and can roughly be translated as "to fly upwards." Thus the implication of the name is clear, it can be understood as "the lock which causes prana to fly upwards."
In addition to the spiritual benefits mentioned above, the physical results are exceptional. It improves digestion and purifies the digestive tract, improves circulation to the heart and brain and strengthens the abdminal muscles and reduces belly fat. The health benefits are so numerous that this technique is refered to as "the Lion which kills the Elephant of Death." To the uninitiated the technique may appear to be extrordinary, but once the process is understood it really is quite simple and easy to perform. Although make sure you have an empty stomach when you practice, give yourself 2-3 hours after eating.
Stand with your feet roughly shoulder distance apart. Take a few deep inhales to energize the body with prana. And then forcefully exhale through the mouth, bending all the way down so your knees press into your abdomen, completely expelling all the air in your body. Relax the abdominal muscles.
Retain the empty breath, without inhaling connect your hands to your knees come into a half-standing posture with the torso bent over. Make sure to keep the abdominal muscles relaxed take a "mock inhalation" by expanding the rib cage. Press into your hands and relax your shoulders. The vacuum in your lungs will cause your belly to suck into your thorax. Close your eyes and picture the energy subliming from your tailbone upwards through the spine, reaching to the crown of your head.
Within a few seconds you will feel the need to breath. The longer you resist this urge the more energy will be sublimed upwards. Once you feel your anus contract, the intial portion of your kundalini shakti start to rise, albeit in safe and controlled manner. But, as always with yoga, don't push yourself beyond your limits. Treat your body with love and compassion.
When you are ready to breath, first relax the abdominal muscles and then take and retain an inhale breath. Attempt to hold the inhale breath as long as you held the empty breath. Hold your posture, with the torso rounded over and keep feeling the energy sublime upwards.
After an equivalent amount of time has elaspsed, exhale through the mouth, returning to a standing posture. Keep your eyes closed and feel the effects of your consciousness being elevated.
Ultimately all we all can control is this world are our own actions. By making yourself a better person you inherently make the world a better place. So the next time you find yourself complaining about how terrible things are, ask yourself, what have you done lately to improve yourself. Wake up, brush your teeth, do just 3 uddiyana bandas and I guarantee you you'll feel better about the state of things. Now just imagine if we all would take the time to do the same.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Over the Hills and Far Away
By the time Maria and I got out of bed and started moving around everyone was gone. What a bummer I thought, I was sure hoping to see all those guys again. I knew we'd catch up with Warren and Kahu at the Agama Yoga Center, but I didn't think we'd see Atli and Eva again for a while. After spending 16 hours with them travelling from Rishikesh to Dharamsala it was a shame to part ways without getting a chance to say goodbye.
But within a few minutes we starting moving around. Lack of sleep the past few nights meant we crashed out until way late and had to hustle so as to not miss checkout. We needed to get out of the expensive hotel room we crashed in the last. It made sense since we arrived into town so late, but we didn't want to stay there. And we needed to get up into the mountainside, closer to our yoga school where we would be spending a significant chunk of our time.
The long car ride the day before had taken a lot out of all of us. Although the time had moved quickly engough as we passed around iPods, discussed great books and movies and talked yoga philosophy. We fell asleep on each other's shoulders, passed around whatever food we had. Every time the car stopped we'd all take stretch in the middle of the winding hillside roads. It had all the makings of a great road trip, except a proper good-bye.
Maria and I debated our next move. We realized we didn't even know where we were, let alone how to get to Bhagsu, where we needed to go. As we threw out possibilities, there came a knock at our door. Eva asked, "Have you guys found a place to stay, there are four rooms together at this house up the road out in the hills, it's just like Swiss Family Robinson!"
It took about 2 seconds to convince us. Maria popped into Atli and Eva's room to ask a few more questions. I took my first stroll outside of the room as well, out onto the balcony on the otherside of the hotel wing, and my jaw dropped. I went back to the room, grabbed Maria's hand mid-conversation and dragged her outside where we both stood awestruck at the view before us. We inhaled deeply feeling that fresh mountain air and wondered where the heck we had arrived, it sure didn't feel like India anymore. But it really didn't matter, it felt just about perfect.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
A Direction Home
Maria and I had been in the Agama Yoga course for almost two weeks by the time Mike got back from trekking in the Himalayas. "You should definately come to our yoga class tomorrow, it's amazing!" we both told him. "Eh ... we'll see what happens" Mike answered in his typical non-commital, non-attached manner of speaking.
Two days later Maria and I decided to set an intention to take their Advanced 500 Hour Yoga Teacher Training Course in Thailand next January. Mike's experiences over the last few days had him sold, he was planning on heading to Dharamsala to continue with the 2nd month of their training. But after one more day the world flipped again. Maria decided there was no point in putting it off, her other travels could wait, she was signing up to take the course that started in May, just over a month away. Mike decided to forget wandering around India for a while, put off the Vipassana retreat, and fly to Thailand to continue studying at Agama's main school for an undetermined amount of time.
I however, was still flying back to the US in 3 weeks. Still planning on making to to Thailand in January for additional training. But first I allowed myself to dream a bit first. I imagined it vividly. I could fly to Thailand and just keep developing my practice. The curiculum at Agama offered an amazing amount of depth, 13 months of training in Hatha Yoga, followed by another 12 months in Kundalini yoga, followed by 2 month of training on each of the first 6 chakras, culminating in a 4 month training on sahasara, the crown chakra. Then the advanced levels began. You could basically spend the next 10 years of so developing you practice, following this tantric path wherever it lead.
The school is at Koh Panang ... the infamous spot of the Full Moon Parties in Thailand. Where once a month the south side of the island was overrun hooligans from around the world, tripping in shrooms and ecstacy, drinking alcohol out of buckets, dancing to techno music and partying the night away. At the Agama school however, every full moon is celebrated with a group meditation. Student come from around the world to practice, to teach, to study.
Our instructor Khush told us about the cottages you can rent right on the beach. 150 Baht a night would get you a bed, mosquito net, a hose and a bucket ... all I would need for the forseeable future. He told us about where you can buy a cheap scooter to get around town. I already knew about thai cuisine, knew enough thai from my trip last year to get around. It wouldn't be hard.
I would spend my days studying yoga, practicing 4-5 hours a day. The mornings swimming, watching the sunrise. On weekends and days off I could take little trips to Krabi to go rock-climbing, finally go visit my buddy Hetal in Cambodia. I would eat spicy curries and fresh seafood. Life would be grand. I would meet amazing people from all over the world, and we would figure out how to solve all the problems of humanity over fresh fruit smoothies and brown rice and tofu.
But I knew it was all just a day dream. Mike and Maria are a different spot than me. They left behind what they needed to in the US, are happily floating along the sea of life. I made sure to keep myself somewhat tethered back to a place I call home. I think about the friends with whom to reconnect. Playing with my nephews. Mending the fences that were left bruised and battered. Siezing the opportunity to serve at that special place in San Diego that jumped in my lap. And most exiting of all, the as-of-yet unknown possiblities of what is is to come. Thailand and all it entails will be there for me when I am ready. May 7th, the journey home begins.
Maria and I had been in the Agama Yoga course for almost two weeks by the time Mike got back from trekking in the Himalayas. "You should definately come to our yoga class tomorrow, it's amazing!" we both told him. "Eh ... we'll see what happens" Mike answered in his typical non-commital, non-attached manner of speaking.
Two days later Maria and I decided to set an intention to take their Advanced 500 Hour Yoga Teacher Training Course in Thailand next January. Mike's experiences over the last few days had him sold, he was planning on heading to Dharamsala to continue with the 2nd month of their training. But after one more day the world flipped again. Maria decided there was no point in putting it off, her other travels could wait, she was signing up to take the course that started in May, just over a month away. Mike decided to forget wandering around India for a while, put off the Vipassana retreat, and fly to Thailand to continue studying at Agama's main school for an undetermined amount of time.
I however, was still flying back to the US in 3 weeks. Still planning on making to to Thailand in January for additional training. But first I allowed myself to dream a bit first. I imagined it vividly. I could fly to Thailand and just keep developing my practice. The curiculum at Agama offered an amazing amount of depth, 13 months of training in Hatha Yoga, followed by another 12 months in Kundalini yoga, followed by 2 month of training on each of the first 6 chakras, culminating in a 4 month training on sahasara, the crown chakra. Then the advanced levels began. You could basically spend the next 10 years of so developing you practice, following this tantric path wherever it lead.
The school is at Koh Panang ... the infamous spot of the Full Moon Parties in Thailand. Where once a month the south side of the island was overrun hooligans from around the world, tripping in shrooms and ecstacy, drinking alcohol out of buckets, dancing to techno music and partying the night away. At the Agama school however, every full moon is celebrated with a group meditation. Student come from around the world to practice, to teach, to study.
Our instructor Khush told us about the cottages you can rent right on the beach. 150 Baht a night would get you a bed, mosquito net, a hose and a bucket ... all I would need for the forseeable future. He told us about where you can buy a cheap scooter to get around town. I already knew about thai cuisine, knew enough thai from my trip last year to get around. It wouldn't be hard.
I would spend my days studying yoga, practicing 4-5 hours a day. The mornings swimming, watching the sunrise. On weekends and days off I could take little trips to Krabi to go rock-climbing, finally go visit my buddy Hetal in Cambodia. I would eat spicy curries and fresh seafood. Life would be grand. I would meet amazing people from all over the world, and we would figure out how to solve all the problems of humanity over fresh fruit smoothies and brown rice and tofu.
But I knew it was all just a day dream. Mike and Maria are a different spot than me. They left behind what they needed to in the US, are happily floating along the sea of life. I made sure to keep myself somewhat tethered back to a place I call home. I think about the friends with whom to reconnect. Playing with my nephews. Mending the fences that were left bruised and battered. Siezing the opportunity to serve at that special place in San Diego that jumped in my lap. And most exiting of all, the as-of-yet unknown possiblities of what is is to come. Thailand and all it entails will be there for me when I am ready. May 7th, the journey home begins.
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