Just like I knew it wouldn’t be

Expectations are deadly things. The world we live in is seldom as perfect as we dream and imagine it to be. And when we plan and chart out how something is going to go, a trip, a reuinion, a new beginning, the fact is we are almost guaranteed that what will actually happen will have little to no resemblance to the picture in our heads.

The real world isn’t perfect, it doesn’t consist of fairy tales. Life is complicated and full of nuance. The highs can be high and the lows can be low. And I suppose we’re all just trying to hang on and enjoy the ride as long as possible.

The real problem with those expectations of ours is they set us up for disappointment. We play out how the act is going to progress before the curtain even rises. And when, invariably, things do not follow their laid out script we set ourselves up for a crisis of epic proportions. The more time we spend dreaming about the future the more likely we are to consider those dreams real and be shocked and surprised when we are faced with the world as it is and all the complications it brings.

Fairy tales are nice and simple. Everyone always lives happily ever after. Throughout the whole story you always have a sense of calm because you know in the end things are going to work out just as they’re supposed to. The real world is made up of the full of fear and loathing that comes from the not knowing.

But I’m starting to realize that the real world is a pretty wonderful place. No things don’t unfold quite as wonderfully as they do in the movies. Life is far more complicated than that. And there is great beauty in that subtlety and detail. And there is also anxiety and longing, and I suppose one set cannot exist without the other.

And when you allow yourself to actually capture the moment you’re in, you realize that those images in your head really don’t add up to anything other than what you think you might want. And then you realize what you actually need is something entirely different and it consists of being and not dreaming.

Cuba is great. The city is still falling apart and Havana still resembles a barely functioning toilet. But after spending most of a month traveling from town to town, taking planes trains and busses across 4 international borders, sleeping in a different bed or bus every night, and just passing casually by all the faces I saw, it was a refreshing to be greeted with open arms.