The Tick

There was this cartoon I really used to like, called “The Tick.” It was about this guy who was a tick. But not any normal tick mind you, a human-sized, super-strong Tick. He lived in a city full of superheroes and supervillans and kinda bumbled around but somehow always managed to save the day. His sidekick was a moth named Arthur. A lot of you probably have heard of it, it was a comic book, and then a cartoon and finally a live-action TV series for a while. I really dug the cartoon.

I’ve got this tick of my own. It started under my right eye. But at this point it’s moved to both eyes, upper and lower. I think it’s at the point where some people have noticed it. I used to think it was just the stress of work that caused it, but I haven’t worked for over two months and the tick is getting worse. I watch it run amok in the mirror sometimes.

I wonder where it comes from. Repressed childhood memories? The first visible evidence of a shattered sense of sanity? I worry about becoming like Raskolnikov from “Crime and Punishment” Absorded in my own sense of superiority that I lose contact with the rest of the world. Torn apart by alienation from humanity. Maybe it’s just a tick.

But I think I know where that neurotic path leads me. I can avoid the anxiety that life presents me with, avoid being a person by slipping into madness. Everyone is searching for a path towards immortality. Whether it’s through love and family, god and heaven, heroism and fame or whatever else provides a sense of personal fulfillment. It takes courage to define ones own existence. It’s easier to be the sheep than the shepard. But it’s the Shepard who has to guide his flock.